My first blog!

Ok, so technically it's not my first blog. I've blogged on my myspace page, but that doesn't really count, does it? Oh well, it's my first blog here.

As it says in my description I'm here to just bring the funny and figure out my own life. So I'm 26. I'm at that pesky quarter-life crisis mode. Whoever thought of that term was a flipping genius! Ok, so I'm in my quarter life crisis. I don't know what I want to do with my life (whoa as me), I have a hard time paying bills (Oy ve), and no one understands me. Geez, I feel like Angela on "My So-Called Life", only 10 years later when she finally moved out on her own and stopped talking to Jordan Catalono and finally met Tino! (If anyone ever watched that show would get that reference). But seriously, my parents would always tell me things just fall into place. Huh? Say what again? Fall into place? Gee Dad thanks! I'll just sit here while the pieces of my disconnected life fall into place! Not to knock my parents down, but things just don't fall into place. It just seems like it does because as we run around with life, we forget how our actions help things "fall into place". How many of us have sat around with a dilemma and thinking "what am I going to do"? Then through our processes, whatever they may be, we find our answer. I mean, look I've wanted to break into blogging to earn some extra income. I know this doesn't pay, but maybe someone will find my blogs insightful and slightly funny. (Dude, I need to find a comic writer. I swear I'm a lot funnier in person, hehe). This is just the stepping stone to the rest of my life.

26, 27, 28, 29,...30! Moving on...I'm NOT afraid to turn 30! Let me tell you, it's either a) therapy, b) having older sisters/cousins or c) just not afraid. Personally I think it's stupid how people put so much damn pressure on a freaking birthday! I mean come on people, we are human, we age, we learn, we grow, and hopefully...mature! A birthday is a celebration of your life, so why hide a way because you hit a milestone? I am starting to love myself more and more every year. Ok I know that sounds self-ish, but if you really knew me you would know that was an accomplishment to say that. Truth is I've hated myself my whole life. Self-esteem didn't exist for me. My bitchy attitude when I was young was my defense mechanism and how I earned respect from people. As I got older, people got tired of it (as I did trying to keep it up), so I did a full 180 and became a people pleaser. But that grew tiring too. Somehow after a long journey, I've found a happy medium and peace. But that is for another blog and I will blog about that.

But you know I survived high school and moved onto college. As I moved past my later teens and into my twenties, I realize I was getting a good network of people around me. I got married and grew to love the commitment. That's something else I haven't mentioned, my husband. He is the best. We've been married for almost 5 years! There's another milestone!!!! I'll be honest, if I never met him I don't think I would have ever gotten married. Seriously, other guys made me feel so awkward in my own skin. He makes me feel like I'm the only one in the room, generally I am, but that's not the point. :-) He also gives me the most awesome compliments. He's very unique in what he says. He's nickname for me is Sunshine because of the blonde streaks in my hair. He tells me my glasses are nerd sexy and that sexy nerds are the best thing. He loves when I talk and talk and talk about a subject I love or reveal a bit of trivial knowledge (which I'm known for). He's fascinated and annoyed by my memory. I just think of the Martina McBride song "My baby loves me just the way that I am" when I think of him. But sometimes I think about my wedding day and how I almost had cold feet. I was standing there with my Dad beside me. My Dad, he will always be #1 man in my life, and he knows this. So we're standing there and he asked if I was ready. I just panicked and started into how it wasn't the time I wanted, the way I wanted, how I wanted (again another blog later to go into further detail) and my Dad just looked at me and said "Pamela, it's not about today, it's about the rest of y'alls' life. You have to think about that. Think about all the love you have and put that into your mind". From there I grabbed his arm and he walked me down the aisle. Thank you God for giving me such an awesome Dad.

So what about my mom? Well she's awesome too. We've butted heads so much when I was younger you would think we would never speak today, but I'm like my mother (oh crap I said what dare not speak it's name). Yes, I ended up like my mother. Basically we butted heads because neither of us like backing down and admitting we were wrong. (Wrong...what's that Mom you said you were WRONG). I honestly think the woman only has said it twice in my lifetime. But I'm still young, so we'll see. :-) My Mom could have her own sitcom. Her Southernisms would put Andy Griffith's on his toes! Even my friends quote her "Uh huh, that's rrr-iaght!" She still dances around the kitchen singing Dolly or Reba songs or making up her own tune based on what she's cooking. Who could forget the "smash" hit, "I'm gonna mash me some taters!"? That's a memory I will always have.

Sisters, awww. The oldest the straightforward woman, and the other one the one with the heels. I'll save them for later posts. I swear I could write a book on those 2 alone.

Ok, so I'm married, I have a good job that will lead to a career, and awesome family. Yes there are days where I wonder how I'm going to make ends meet. I wonder whether or not to have children. I wonder if I'm crazy to love my kitties and dog Ozzie so much. I'm confused about the world and not sure how I feel about how it's going. But at the end of the day I'm not worried about growing older because I know where I have been and trust me I ain't going back!

I guess Dad you're right, things do really fall into place when you're not looking.

Hope you guys stick around for more of my interesting life.