Life goes on....

Before I start this post I want to show you guys a list of pet peeves listed by astrological sign. I'm an Aries and I completely believe in astrological signs because I am what you think when you think of an Aries. I'm fiery and stubborn. Here's the list from MSN.com.

Aries:
Yours is the most impatient sign of all, Aries, so naturally, what irritates you most is waiting. Period. You want to be the first one in, the first one out, and at the very head of the pack in the left hand lane, whether it's rush hour or 3 a.m. Your impatience also extends to your temper. That said, Pet Peeve #2 is anyone who won't fight back. After all, what's better than a worthy opponent?

Taurus:
Unlike your Aries and Gemini neighbors, you, Taurus, can't stand rushing. You believe in measuring twice (at least) and cutting once, in thinking before you act, and in choosing your words and actions as carefully as possible. What drives you crazy more than anything, then, is haste - but unexpected change is a close second. In fact, unlike most of us, you're not particularly fond of surprises, even if they're pleasant ones.

Gemini:
Mercury is your planet, Gemini, the guy with the wings on his head and his feet, symbolizing his quicksilver abilities when it comes to mental and physical speed. So, understandably, nothing makes you crazier than someone who just won't cut to the chase when they're telling a story or refuses to take a shortcut when they know they're running late - although it's hard to imagine how they could resist, with all the tapping and fidgeting you do while you're waiting.

Cancer:
Safety, security, and your home and family are what matter most to you, Cancer, and there's nothing you love more than spending an evening at your place, surrounded by loved ones, snuggled up under a quilt. So what makes you nuts? Being dragged out by a well-meaning friend who's decided that you "need more socializing." That's grounds for . . . well, for all kinds of things. Second, though, is having to eat someone else's cooking, which is seldom, if ever, as good as yours.

Leo:
Yours is the sign of the performer, Leo. You can turn any place into a stage, from an actual podium to a bar to the front of a classroom. What makes you crazy is one thing: someone who tries to steal your applause. You work hard to keep everyone amused and entertained, and you enjoy it as much as they do. The spotlight is only so wide, though, so when someone tries to snag some of it, you won't hesitate to show your disapproval.

Virgo:
Cleanliness. Order. Organization. That's what you need to function at your best, Virgo, in your personal surroundings, your workplace, and your daily schedule. So what drives you crazy more than anything else is filthy, unsanitary, or disorganized conditions, as well as people who exhibit those qualities. It's the dirty details where you personally see the devil - and even if you have to scrub your fingers to the bone, you will be rid of him.

Libra:
Contrary to popular opinion, your specialty, Libra, is not "balance" itself, it's restoring balance to unbalanced situations. So what you can't stand, more than anything else, is seeing lopsided, prejudiced, unfair, or discriminatory conditions. It brings out the cruise director, mediator, and judge in you. In other words, you put your own feelings aside to become whatever it takes to make things "nice" again.

Scorpio:
Your sign is famous for its love of depth, intensity, and digging below the surface. So what makes you crazier than anything is meeting up with someone who goes out of his way to be shallow, cavalier about important issues (especially the ones you feel most strongly about) and superficial. It makes you wonder what he or she is really up to - and wondering is what keeps you from getting a decent night's sleep.

Sagittarius:
You love to learn, travel, and have fun with interesting others. In short, if it's new, uncharted territory, if you feel that you're boldly going where no one has gone before - yourself in particular - then you're game. What you can't stand - what you absolutely cannot and will not tolerate, no matter what - is boredom. That's your #1 Pet Peeve. A close second? Someone who dares to tell you "no," regardless of why.

Capricorn:
When it comes to taking charge, while you may occasionally pretend you don't absolutely adore it, to be perfectly honest, you know you do - and you know we all love it when you're "driving," because you're so good at it. So what absolutely makes you nuts is having to take orders from someone who's not only less qualified than yourself, but also pitifully less suited to the position. Fortunately, that doesn't happen much, now does it?

Aquarius:
You're the rebel, the radical, and the eccentric in every group, whether it's family, friends, or your team at work. You love and cultivate those labels because of the freedom they allow you to be yourself. The worst thing, then - the very worst thing of all, in your eyes - is being pressed into a mold, being told what to do, having to obey, and being forced to act like everyone else. It's simply not acceptable - and it doesn't happen often…

Pisces:
Your specialty, Pisces, is emotions, maybe even more so than sentimental Cancer. You're comfortable sniffling and dabbing at your eyes during a sad movie (or a commercial, for that matter) and rather - no, extremely - proud of your ability to sense what's wrong with a loved one before they even realize it themselves. So what makes you most irritated is when someone tells you you're being "overly emotional." After all, in your eyes (which is what matters), can you ever be too emotional?

And yes my biggest pet peeve is waiting.

Moving on.....life goes on.

So the uncertainty is over. I was waiting for was finding out whether my husband who is finally finished with his degree & internship has been offered a job. Well he was. Yes, I'm a proud wife, but the job is in another city, so we are in the process of selling our home and I'm finding a new job. Luckily, we'll be moving to where my family lives; where I grew up. To me it is very surreal at the thought of just being 20 minutes away from my family than a hour. I know some people live like states away, but my family is so close that a hour away is immense independence. Independence that I think I needed.

See, I've lived here in Greenville, NC for 8 years. Being the youngest in my family has not been easy. I have endured other people's opinions, thoughts, and criticisms on my life since I took my first breath. While I know my family only offers these to me as a signal of love, it annoys the heck out of me! I think living an hour away for 8 years has been very productive in showing my family that I'm not 18 months old and still in a diaper. That I'm a professional young woman who can manage job, marriage, and home with the maturity my parents taught me at a young age. But still there is that underlying annoyance of advice. Sure parents are going to offer it to you no matter what you do, but to my parents: can you back off just a tad? I mean, I would think all that I have been through like my husband spending 10 months in Iraq, helping Mom with her cancer treatments, finishing my bachelor's in 3 years and my master's in 1 year, surviving a near mental breakdown, and overall climbing the ranks in a university setting in a very short amount of time would allow you to trust my judgment. Sure I've made mistakes and I will relive them in my head through the end of time because that's who I am, but what I need is some encouragement and support like "you know you'll find another job" or "the next great house is around the corner" or "of course someone will see you house and just fall in love with it".

Moving on....I am sad at the thought of leaving a second family I've made here. I never thought family was blood related. My reasons behind this rationale are personal and will not be included in this blog, but I always felt people you are your most comfortable with are your family. This is very hard for me to write, but in all honesty, I'm not going to lose these people. I think when a friendship is a good friendship then the work is already been done. The groundwork has been laid and all you need to do is keep up the maintenance. Wow, I just notice all the construction metaphors in here. Sorry, I watched too much HGTV this weekend in between the Olympics.

So now the waiting has been shifted into a new direction (selling house, finding new job), but I'm trying not to let it get the best of me. As I said to a dear friend, I'm letting the worry motivate me but not destroy me. We'll see what happens.

To end this I want to say how immensely proud I am of my husband. He has been through so much in his life and never thought he would ever be where he is today. But he made it and I knew he could do it because he never lets anything get him down. He is my hero and one of the greatest people I will ever know.

Debunking the myth....

This blog is based on a conversation I had last night with a friend. We both have a lot in common. We're the same age, married around the same time (give or take a year), working full time, and our husbands are both current students. She said to me last night how she's not sure if she really wants to have kids. I know exactly how she feels. Let me come to her defense and say that she is a wonderful person and any decision she and her husband make is THEIR decision. No one should judge or put down whatever they decided for their future.

So here's where I debunk the myth that all women want marriage and kids. On the contrary, there are a lot of women who want kids, but don't want marriage and vice versa. Does this make them evil? Do childless women have no heart? The answer is no. While I'm debunking this myth, let me just state that there are a lot of men I have met who have no phobias over marriage or kids. My husband first proposed to me after 6 months of dating. No ring, no knee, he just blurted out "I want to marry you!" I, the then 18 year old, sat there gasped because I never thought about getting married or kids or any of that. But I am digressing.

So growing up I had baby dolls and they sat in my room collecting dust. Random family members would give my dolls for Christmas and my birthday and I would play with them for like a day or two, but after that they sat in my room perched in their play cribs while I played with my Barbies making up fabulous stories and adventures Barbie and Ken would get into. I would also sit in my room and write or play school (I was a very nerdy child). As I grew older, people would ask my mom if I would want to babysit for them (because my sisters did) and I would look at her and ask "why". I had no interest in seeing other people's children. (I know that sounds harsh, but it's true). I would get excited when someone said they got a new kitten, but I remember being around 11 when a cousin of mine and his wife had their first child. I looked at it squirming around in their arms and they asked if I wanted to hold it. I said no. Of course I got a lecture on how rude I was, but my mom slowly starting to leave me alone about babysitting or looking at the cute baby over there. I remember being in high school and how my friends talked about finishing college and getting married and having kids. Me, I was planning my career milestones up until age 45! I just never thought wife and motherhood was in my cards and I never really had interest in it either.

Well now I'm married to a wonderfully sweet man who would like kids, but doesn't look at it as a big deal whether we do or not. I am currently going back and forth on my decision. On the one hand, I see having a child with my husband as somewhat poetic and tender. On the other hand, I see the time and patience one needs to have to raise a child. Time I can give, patience...well...that's another blog. And any decision we make is OURS and should not be judged or put down because we are making the decision that is best for us.

But I guess what I'm trying to say is not all women instantly know they want to be moms and that's ok. We will bounce back and forth between our decisions and go through the pros and cons of it all before we land on a decision, but we will make the decision that's best for us. Or biology will. Either way, we're still people just trying to make it through the day and have a great relationship with our husbands, family, and friends.

Here is some advice I can give. My husband and I decided to keep this topic as an "open-ended" conversation. Meaning that one of us can pick up this conversation and end it whenever we feel like it. We also laid out some ground rules. 1. the recipient must stop what they are doing and listen to what the initiator has to say. 2. this will not become an argument, in the event that it does, the conversation stops 3. this is a conversation where we are just airing out our feelings and thoughts and cannot be used in later arguments. Feel free to use this method. It really has worked for us and opened up communication on any topic much easier.

So that's it. That's my opinion. To my friend that inspire this blog...you'll make the decision that's best for you. That decision might not come instantly. It might be another 3 years or more, but don't let anyone else influence your decision.